Waiting until marriage

I'm just wondering what you think of it.

Personally, I don't know what I'll do. I'm very religious, but Catholics generally don't place a lot of emphasis on abstinance. Actually, until today, I always assumed that my mother was a virgin when she married, but like I said in my thread today, apparently she suggested to my dad that they have a quickie in the high school parking lot, so...yeah.

But anyway. I don't think all girls who have sex outside of marriage are sluts. Yeah, I think the ones who get drunk and have sex with a different guy every night are gross and walking STDs. But I think if a girl's in a committed relationship, then she's not doing anything wrong by having sex.

I'd like to wait until marriage, but I know that if I don't get married until I'm 30, it's going to be hard. So I've decided that before I have sex:
1.) I will be 18 and out of high school. It makes things a lot easier for me. My parents would murder me if I got pregnant before I was married, much less not even 18.
2.) I will have been in a relationship with the guy for at least six months. None of this sex on the first date stuff for me.
3.) We will both be tested for STDs before we have sex.
4.) He'll use a condom and I'll use birth control pills. That way we're covered.

Saving it for my wedding night is the ultimate goal, but I'm not naive enough to think that it's going to happen.

That's stupid to have a goal for yourself and not follow through with it. If you want to wait until marriage, do so. I am 100% positive that you can do it.

I've promised myself a variety of things sex wise:
a) I'll wait till I'm out of highschool
b) I'll wait till I'm 18 or older
c) I'll be on the pill and he'll use a condom
d) I will know I want to be married to him
e) I will accept the fact that if it falls apart, I loved him when it happend.

But I know and accept that these things don't work for everyone and I'm perfectly fine with that too and understanding to that and respecting to it as well.

I really think the guy I am with now is the one, we've been together for over a year and yet I still know i'm not emotionally ready for sex. I know I don't want it to be spontanious but eventually...things will happen and I'll become more ready and I'll stay commited to it.

Obviously I have moments where I'm like HOLY FUCK I WANT HIM but he also reminds me how much it's going to mean to me if I wait, which makes me super duper happy

Do what's right for you. Maybe it's till you're in a very commited relationship where it feels like a marriage. Whatever you do, don't give up your personal morals.

Yeah, I'm in the same predicament. Like, I really feel strongly waiting until marriage to have sex(for myself) and I'm open about that. I'm not going to lead some guy on making him think i'm going to give out when i'm not. It's not even that I want my first time to be "extra special," It's just that I feel like i'd be betraying God by having sex. I think about this topic wayyy too much and I just think that I would feel so guilty and I would never forgive myself for having sex.

The major problem with all of this is that...I get so freaking horny sometimes, hahahah. That's so embarrassing, but I do and my one friend Jordan thinks there is no way I'm going to last until marriage, but I think that If i find someone who respects that then it will be easier.

I don't know, I have nothing against other people sexing it up, but I just think that i'd feel guilty for eternity if i had sex.

i was POSITIVE i was going to wait until marriage, but hey, look at me, i just had sex 20 minutes ago.

hahahahahahha and a parent walked in while we were doing it and we didnt move, we were in the living room adn she walked her male friend (who she was definitely hooking up with--gross) out the door.

I'm not waiting until marriage. I would definitely have sex with someone before marrying them.

Lost_intherain wrote:

Yeah, I'm in the same predicament. Like, I really feel strongly waiting until marriage to have sex(for myself) and I'm open about that. I'm not going to lead some guy on making him think i'm going to give out when i'm not. It's not even that I want my first time to be "extra special," It's just that I feel like i'd be betraying God by having sex. I think about this topic wayyy too much and I just think that I would feel so guilty and I would never forgive myself for having sex.

The major problem with all of this is that...I get so freaking horny sometimes, hahahah. That's so embarrassing, but I do and my one friend Jordan thinks there is no way I'm going to last until marriage, but I think that If i find someone who respects that then it will be easier.

I don't know, I have nothing against other people sexing it up, but I just think that i'd feel guilty for eternity if i had sex.

Same. I like boys a lot. Which is a good or bad thing, you decide. I'm worried that I won't make it, haha.

MonitorTSOR wrote:

That's stupid to have a goal for yourself and not follow through with it. If you want to wait until marriage, do so. I am 100% positive that you can do it.

I agree completely on this point. If you value your virginity as much as does God, then you must hold to this personal conviction. Set it in stone. Convictions aren't overturned on the fly by raging hormones, and they don't settle for compromise. And it will be much easier to stay true if your partner shares your convictions. How you hold to your convictions is called personal integrity. It's not naive to have tenets of faith you believe and act on; it's naive to think you have no control over your future conduct.

As for the Catholic church not "emphasizing abstinence", you know that's crap. If they have said it's wrong, is it less wrong because they don't mention it much? The church also doesn't emphasize not murdering people. If that's an authority you trust strongly, why defy it because you feel behind on the timetable for sex?

I am not telling you this to get you to make a conviction you don't believe in or to listen to your church or parents or to even abstain from sex but to identify what is really important to you and your personal beliefs. Let them be what they are, and then act on them wholeheartedly. It can be difficult, but don't pretend like premarital sex is inevitable.

I'm saving it for marriage. My choice id based on personal morals and my faith.

I want to marry someone who loves me enough to respect my choice to wait. God created sex for after you're married. Opening the present before Christmas is no fun.

I am fine with people who wait until marriage. Good for them if that is what they want. Personally, I like to test drive before I buy the car.

I half-assed an abstinence pledge. It basically went like this: "I won't screw anyone until I love them enough to marry them, that's good enough." It's definitely good enough.

I never told myself that I'd wait until marriage mainly because I just didn't want to. I've already lost my virginity-I'm eighteen. I'm not going around having sex with every guy that I meet but my sexual views are different than most. I'd get into it but I'm sure that most of you will change how you look at me so I'm going to leave it at that.

Gabstah wrote:

I half-assed an abstinence pledge. It basically went like this: "I won't screw anyone until I love them enough to marry them, that's good enough." It's definitely good enough.

in 8th grade health if we signed an abstinence card we got to skip class and go to an ice cream social.

the card was like this:
"I, ______, will not have sexual intercourse until _____"

.. "I, Michelle , will not have sexual intercourse until i am atleast 14"
i got free icecream, and i didnt feel bad for losing my virginity at 14.